La Grande Aventure

Bonsoir mes amis! Ellie et moi are in gay Paris Paris! Sweating like a pair of P.I.G.S!!! It's like forty degrees here! We have definitely been working on our tannage! Although my leather shorts have left me with a shorty tan line! Doh!

No macaroons thus far, however we have sunbathed in le jardin next to the Tour De Eiffel. Met a few hawt French men. Met rugby star Serge Betson. Bought up a shit load of fromage at an amazing food market. In fact, we have essentially been living off fromage, pain et aioli! Oh & really tasty cured meat too!

I am currently unable to upload any pics at the moment, due to internet gayness (just about posting this on the hotel's FREE wifi, which keeps logging out! Grrr!).

We may attempt to hit up Laduree tomorrow, for a macaroon breakfast. After which we may pop to the outdoor swimming pool, one of our French amis told us about, for a little cooling dip.

Until then mes amis!


Hot to Trot of the week

Uh, uh, uh, uh UH!  I have found THE hottest hot to trot EVER!!!
I don't even know how I didn't know more about his existence before!  Especially considering he is married to my girl crush Marion Cotillard & is divorced from Diane Kruger!

It is none other than Guillaume Canet!

He is of course French & exceptionally good looking!

Uh, THIS is the type of guy I need to date!  None of those overly tanned/exceptionally pale, overly worked out/scrawny, blonde, stupidly good looking/unfortunate looking idiots I've been wasting my time with!  THIS is the TYPE guys.  Hawt, French & drowning in allure.  Oui oui!


Quote Of The Day

"Destiny is for losers.  It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen." - Blair Waldorf

Love Affair

I would like to thank mère for giving me these beautiful flowers for my birthday.  They look so lovely in my bedroom!  She also gave me a lovely card & some much needed euros.

I shall be in Chabanais for my birthday, with my dear friend Kate.  Who I have not seen since she moved to France last year.  I can't wait to see her!!!


Well guys, Eleanor & I are officially leaving for La Grande Aventure tomorrow!
I am completely cream crackered.  I've had sleepless nights & few days off work.  The packing has finally commenced though & my bag is groaning.  It is also overtly full & yet, I have so much more to pack in!
I officially HATE packing!!!

I have about twelve pairs of shoes, including my Hunters, to take.
I feel I should bring ALL my jewellery.  I like to have options.
I'm still washing my clothes & hoping they're gonna dry on time.
Still got ironing to do.
Sooo much to do!
I'm tired.
FIVE weeks of no work & plenty of fun in the sun.  That's what's in order mes amis.


A Dangerous Method

I think I may wish to add this to my movie wish list too.



O. M. to the G!
Could I be anymore excited!?

I have vaguely started to pack...This is the current state of my bedroom...

Yeah.  Plus it's late so I feel I may abandon the packing for tomorrow.  Then come Saturday, it is THE day & Ellie & I will be reunited for the first time since the Easter weekend!  Can you believe it's been that long since I've seen her face!  Incroyable!

I am a mixture of exuberant excitement & a nervous "OMG I'm off traveling for the next five weeks & it could all go horribly right, or horribly wrong" kinda feeling.

Either way...it's all about the TANNAGE guys!!!  That is THE most important thing!  I'm done with being albino!  (Apologies to any albino readers out there.  I'm sure you're working that shit right now.)

I believe the forecast for Paris on Monday is 34℃ & it should be HAWT HAWT HAWT all over the weekend in general!  Oooh yeah!

Weird Couple Alert!

They've been dating for a while now, yet I still really cannot get my head around the pairing:
Avril Lavigne & Brody Jenner!

Seriously!!!  What the Jeffries!!!

What would a hot to trot like Jenner be doing with a lame ass mother fucker like Avril Lavigne!!!  Someone please answer me that!

It literally kills me that they have each other's names tattooed on their bodies.  Like, I actually nearly cry thinking about it.  (jokes)

Urgh!  Why do HAWT men pick fugtastic woman to date!?

PLUS she is TWENTY SIX years old & she STILL dresses like a TEENAGER in her shitty skater boi style.


I mean, didn't you used to MODEL at some point?  Swear down I read that somewhere!

All I have left to say on the matter is: This relationship offends me.  It offends me on EVERY level!

Nuff said.

Quote Of The Day

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." - PJ O'Rourke

War Paint

My MAC foundation completely ran out this morning & there is not a chance in hell I would turn up in Paris without my face on!  Oh hell to the no!  So obvs I ordered an emergency re-stock (yes, on the credit card.  Shhh).  I chose to get a slightly darker shade, as I figure I will be tanned muchos soon!

I paid extra to get it delivered specifically on this day & mère stayed in ALL day for me, as you need to sign for it.  What time did it turn up?  Eight frickin' PM!  Pffft!

I decided to get a new blusher too, as I ran out a few months ago, after I drunkardly dropped my BRAND NEW one onto the floor & lost half of it!  Grrr!  I originally had Dainty from the Mineralize range, but it was very pale pink.  So this time I chose Love Joy, again from the Mineralize range, which is a much darker, slightly bronzed shade, with a hint of sparkle.  Again, I feel this is gonna work once I have a tan.

It's all about the tan guys!!!

P to the S.  Although MAC is rather expensive, it is 100% worth the money!  Plus, I literally buy a blusher (when I haven't dropped it), a bottle of foundation, eyebrow gel & a bronzer ONCE a year!  Honestly it does last that long & I use it EVERYDAY!

The eyebrow pencil & the mascara are a twice a year jobby, but they are cheaper, so it's not too bad.

Retail therapy is a must!

So, along with my Laylas, I did also manage to nab myself a new bikini super cheap in the sale.  Along with some extra bottoms.  Which of course, is what I went in for in the first place.

I also saw that the gold crucifix knuckleduster I'd been craving for MONTHS, was finally half price!!!  Couldn't deny it, really!

Oh yeah & I might have got a little distracted & bought some new sandals too...

What can I say...I obviously can't be trusted with credit...or sales!

However, in my defence, overall I saved £72 & as I spent £72, I literally got EVERYTHING half price! Wooop!

Love Affair

Ah, my little dreams came true today.
Some of you may remember me posting a wish list or two a fair few months ago, all of which included Topshop's Layla black block heels.
Well, after popping into Topshop this afternoon, to see if they had a cheap bikini for La Grande Aventure, I was SO HAPPY to see that the Laylas were ON SALE!!!
Obviously, after months of longing, there was not a chance in hell I was gonna let these babies get away HALF PRICE, regardless of my current funding...So natch I popped those bad boys on my...C.R.E.D.I.T.C.A.R.D.
[shhh, keep it on the down low]

I heart these so much, so so much.
Plus from the front, they look very Mui Mui esque!



Oh yes mes amis, it is now only TWO days until La Grande Aventure begins!!!

I'm starting to get nervous butterflies in my stomach.  Eeek!

Love Affair

I love love love Rachel Zoe & Rodger Berman!!!  Now they have spawn they are officially the hottest family...EVER!!!

These folks are my role models.  When I'm thirty & am officially an adult who contemplates such things as marriage & procreation, I shall look to these two for style inspiration.

Plus they're Jews & I love me some Jews.

Quote Of The Day

"In three words I can sum up what I have learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost

Track of the Week

This week I've been hooked on 5am by SomthingALaMode, featuring K.Flay.

Loving the Frenchies & their musik!

Oh & it features my Casio watch too!
(Yes I am a sad act.)

The Ledge

I really want to watch this film, if not just so I know how it ends!!!

Pure Filth!

Glastonbury gets underway today & thousands of revellers have arrived in Somerset.  As usual, it has been raining causing the festival & camping site to be turned into a mud pit.

The lineup is as ever, insane in the frickin' membrane, but all I can say is...Fuck that!  I'm happy to get down & dirty at a festival, but even I have my limits!


"I mean, that's just what you do after a breakup, rebound from one guy to the next, until you find the next big love."



So I'm basically gonna be hysterical when I come back home to the UK in August, more so than when Lindasnity found out she'd be doing time!

Not that the bitch ever did any, unless you count those five minutes she made an appearance.  Pffft.

When I went to Pukkelpop for the first time, I had the most AMA-ZIIING time ever & I have never experienced anything as ama-ziiing since.  When I came home from Belgium, I was literally beside myself. I didn't wash for three days & I was caked in dirt.  I just didn't want to wash off the good times.  When I did, I was even more hysterical!  That was only a five day experience!  I may be comatose for months after La Grande Aventure!

There are now only THREE days to go & although I am 99.9% prepped, I am starting to get butterflies in my stomach.  Eeek!  The excitement is intense & somewhat overwhelming!

My main aims whilst away are: Get so tanned people mistake me for Kanye's sister.  Do ABSOLUTELY anything & everything!  The word NO is not in our vocabulary, along with MAYBE.  Pffft, what a half ass word.  Finally & most importantly, find some way, no matter what, to NOT come back!  Pimping ourselves out is considered an option.  Jokes...

All of these three things are equally very important to us both I feel.

So frickin' exciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiited!


Girl Crush

I have a MASSIVE lifelong crush on MK Olsen.
Literally LOVE her sooo much!

Heck, who doesn't love the Olsens!?
Plus they have some ama-ziing pieces in their Elizabeth & James & The Row fashion lines.

Quote Of The Day

"This above all: To your own self, be true." - William Shakespeare

Visitation Rights

My dear friend Lucy came down for a visit today, as my 'Nando's Leaving The Country For A While Do' got canceled on Saturday.  We went into the old part of town (the only part of town one should ever venture into), had lunch at The Greedy Cow, spied on the cupcakes at The Cupcake Cafe & mooched around the various vintage shops.

In fact the old part of town has a multitude of vintage shops!  We went into one which had a vintage YSL mac, it was only £12!  But it wasn't the nicest & had a mark on it, so I passed.  But the other place on the corner I love, had some really nice pieces, but alas, I have no dollar to spend on such frivolities.

We also ventured to the Turner Gallery.  I went for the first time on Friday with my friend Jason, who also came for a visit last week.  Heck might as well go as many times as possible as it's FREE!

I didn't take any snaps the first time, as I wasn't sure if I was allowed to.  Didn't want to be uncouth.  But Lucy checked & apparently it is perfectly acceptable. 

Thankfully, unlike Friday, the weather held up today.  It was lovingly sunny & warm & the smell of seaweed was high in the air!

Overall a really lovely day.
Thank you Lady Rawlinson for your visit.
Mr Piggles misses you already.

Love Affair

What's that I hear along the fashion grapevine...Versace doing a line for H&M?  Well yes, yes I believe I do & it will be ready for fall!

Apparently the line will include plenty of studded leather, vibrant colours & bold prints.
There's gonna be forty pieces for us girls to absorb into our wardrobe & twenty for the men shapes.
Dresses will range from £50 to £70 & a bargainess £10 for accessories!
PLUS, there will be another pre-spring collection available in mid-January!
I am muchos excited about this collaboration!
Are you!?

Hot Cha Cha Cha

Beyoncé has been getting a bit snap happy in the run up to her album's release on the 26th of June.

Girlfriend's looking hawt lately...Dayumn!